A day
in the life of an addict. These are true humorous examples of a day in the life of an addict.
None of your Christmas Presents were paid for.
It is not your fault.
Everyone in the the world is crazy but you.
You look under the crack in your door to see if someone is there.
You look under the door because you are sure the police are there.
You look under your door and see the police there.
You live in a car that does not belong to you.
The tags on the car in the front and back do not match nor does the registration.
You have a bogus Identity that you purchased in a bar after eluding people in Fargo N.D.
The drugs are not working.
You can’t find any drugs around the house so you Huff glue.
You shoot up all your mother’s pills in the medicine cabinet inspite of the burning pain it gives you.
You smoke your marijuana plant before it is 3 feet tall.
You sharpen your needles on a match book.
You strain the collagulated blood from your syringe and start over.
You take anything resembling drugs.
You buy things with pennies.
You say you are never going to do that again and find yourself doing it.
You use a drip to cure your hangover .
You show up to a party holding a drip above your heart ready for more.
You are happy to be in the emergency room.
You have smoked bananas to get off after hearing that John Lennon did it .
You use a flashlight to find veins behind your kneecaps.
You know Yellow Jackets are Nebutals
Your night job is making bootleg quaaludes with a press .
You believe the man on the corner in a red-checkered suit that what you just bought is drugs .
You think the guy you just gave your money to is coming back with some drugs
Your not worrying about quitting smoking because you already have cancer.
All your friends say you have a drinking problem.
All your friends are junkies.
You sift your seeds over and over again.
You smoke your seeds.
You wear long sleeves all the time
Your hands look like boxing mitts.
You shoot up Beer.
You wake up and find out that you are somebody’s girlfriend.
You never have any money.
You inhale White-out.
You smoke Raid.
Your drug of choice is alcohol.
Your preferred state of mind is being in a black-out.
Your clothes are ten years behind the times and you truely believe that you are a trend setter.
You don’t care because you are going to die young anyway .
You have been on the methadone clinic for 9 years and have no intention of leaving the program.
You don’t like Sundays.
You soak Morning Glory seeds to get the poisons off.
You don’t know what day of the week it is.
Dope means Dope.
You eat nutmeg.
You sell your most prized possessions.
You can’t get off.
You know you are an addict and use this as an excuse to drink first thing in the morning.
You forget what year it is and don’t know who is the President.
You can’t leave your neighborhood block for fear of running out.
Your on a first name basis with Pedro on the lower east-side and you live three states away.
Lower East Side is a state of mind.
You saw God last week.
You pray to God that you won’t ever do it again if he gets you out of this jam.
You are terrified that you are never going to come down and wish you never dropped that last tab.
You do it all over again expecting a different result.
You don’t have a GED and have no intention of getting one, PhD means pills hash and dope.
You get your college degree from Sing Sing.
You are 42 years of age and have no work history or any references.
Your mother sees you taking a Bong and tells Dad that you were inhaling a flourscent light bulb.
You see police lights so you pull over behind an officer who had already pulled somebody over.
You help somebody find what you stole from them.
You see the police and your heart starts to race while you are holding your breath .
Any time you see a nice clean bathroom is a potential place to get off.
The works that you used were last used on a poodle in a veterarian clinic.
Drinking Bong water just to catch a buzz .
Searching carpets for anything resembling drugs.
You fix with the door open of a Hotel so that if you OD someone may find you.
You know you are an addict and use this as an excuse to drink first thing in the morning.
You don’t care that you know that you are going to die young.
You know Scotty means Crack Cocaine and Tina means Crystal Methadrine (Methamphetamine).